Motivation is weird. For a long time, I believed motivational speeches and pep talks didn't really work. I still kind of believe that. But I've realized something: motivation only seems to work for people who are in a place where they can actually receive it—people who have enough mental and emotional resources left to act on those words. For people who are completely depleted, motivation just bounces off. It's not that they don't want to change; they literally can't convert words into action right now.
I've been trying to make sense of this, so I came up with a rough framework. It's not about fixed categories—people move through these constantly depending on what's happening in their lives.
Situations
Manageable Situations These are the everyday problems most people deal with. The severity is manageable. You might need a little push to get through it, or maybe you just handle it on your own without much thought. Either way, you can see your way through it. You don't even need to believe there's light at the end—you just deal with it.
Overwhelming Situations Then there are situations that feel genuinely impossible. These are the ones where you can't see any way out. You've tried multiple times and failed each time. The problem feels so crushing that you can't even imagine it ending. It suffocates you. Motivational words in these moments feel almost insulting because there's so much nuance to what you're going through that a simple speech can't touch.
States People Are In
When You're Depleted Sometimes people reach a point where they're just running on empty. Even small problems feel impossible to handle. This happens when you've been through a lot, for a long time, and your resources are completely gone. Maybe you're dealing with depression, or you feel like you have no control over your life. You might accept that difficult problems are just your reality now. Acceptance can be good, but you also need some energy or capacity to actually work on things—and that's exactly what's missing. You might believe that no one truly understands what you're going through (which is probably true), and it doesn't even feel worth talking about.
When You Can Cope Then there are times when people have enough internal resources to keep going. Motivational words might help, or they might not, but either way they're able to move through challenges. Maybe it's from self-discipline, support from others, or just being in a better headspace. Whatever it is, they can handle different situations like a tardigrade [1]—they just keep going. These people can see what's in their control and what isn't. They might not see the light at the end either, but they can focus on something else: the process, the next step, the journey itself.
Important: People aren't stuck in one state. We all move between these depending on circumstances, timing, and what resources we have available. Even the most put-together people can end up depleted. Just understanding this is kind of liberating.
Putting It Together
I think of this as a 2D plane where both dimensions matter:
Manageable
Situation
|
|
QUADRANT 2 | QUADRANT 1
"Struggling" | "Handling It"
|
Small problems but | Small problems and
can't handle them | managing them fine
|
Why you're here: | Why you're here:
Depleted, no energy, | Good state, have
no resources left | resources/support
|
Motivation: NO | Motivation: YES
(Need: rest, support) | (but barely needed)
|
|
Depleted <---------------+---------------> Can Cope
State | State
|
|
Motivation: NO | Motivation: MAYBE
(Need: real help) | (have resilience)
|
Serious problems and | Serious problems but
drowning in them | pushing through them
|
Why you're here: | Why you're here:
Crisis, multiple hits, | Internal resources,
lost all hope | can see the journey
|
QUADRANT 3 | QUADRANT 4
"Crisis" | "Enduring"
|
|
Overwhelming
Situation
KEY INSIGHT: Motivation works on the RIGHT side (when you can
cope), not the LEFT side (when you're depleted). The situation
(top/bottom) matters less than your state (left/right).
People move around this plane constantly - you're not stuck.
Bad news pushes you left. Support and time move you right.
A crisis drops you down. Healing brings you up.
The key insight here: your horizontal position (your state) matters way more than your vertical position (the situation). Someone who can cope (right side) can handle even serious problems. Someone who's depleted (left side) struggles with even small things.
And here's why motivation only works on the right side: when you're depleted, motivation is just words. You lack the mental and emotional resources to convert those words into action. It's like trying to grow seeds in depleted soil—the seeds aren't the problem, the soil is.
What This Actually Means
If you're on the LEFT side of this plane (depleted), stop trying to force motivation on yourself. It won't work, and that's not your fault. You need different things right now: rest, actual support, maybe professional help, time to recover. Give yourself permission to just exist for a while without expecting yourself to be motivated or productive.
If you're on the RIGHT side (coping), motivation might actually help give you a push forward. You have the capacity to act on it.
The good news: you're not permanently stuck in any quadrant. People move through this space following different paths. Bad news can push you left. Support and time can move you right. Solving a problem moves you up. A crisis drops you down. Just knowing where you are helps you understand what you actually need—which isn't always motivation.
I honestly didn't think I'd write this much. I thought I'd just say "Motivation isn't for everyone—you have to feel motivated to get motivated" and leave it at that. But I'm glad I kept going. I know this framework is still rough, and it would be better with concrete examples. Maybe I'll add those in another iteration.
[1] Tardigrade: A microscopic animal (also known as a water bear) that's known for surviving in extreme conditions.
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